A Threesome...

Three girls were sitting at the bar in a Mexican restaurant...

no this is not the beginning of some joke but rather an observation of some of the abusurdities of women...for some crazy reason I chose to sit next to them...three of them...while eating..luckily there was a baseball game on the TV above me to keep me from going insane...they had been drinking...two of them were friends and had just met the third one...three appears to be the magic number for chicks...sitting there listening and observing was enough to turn me off to women forever...now they were nice and pleasant and all but not all that attractive..well at least the two friends were pretty average...the stranger was fairly cute...anyway...

..at one point the third input girl (the one sitted next to me)....asked me if I was enjoying "this"..and was I "learning anything"...she must have suspected I was suffering and at the same time eating it up...at least that's what she probably figured....I wanted to tell her I already knew girls like them were annoying but instead I told her it was all being recorded on a hidden mic...ha ha ha....

Their conversation began..for me anyway...as they discussed whether or not they get their eyebrows professionaly waxed..."it is LA" after all so "it's OK" to do things like that they argued...the conversation quickly changed to what each one did...and of course they were all some form of actresses...and then they got sidetracked on what they all were drinking...and the types of alcohol they like...one girl commented she's pretty open to everything except the college type shots like schnapps....I wondered if that was the sexual equilavent of being open to everything except anal.....eventually the conversation shifted to their boyfriends and fiances...it's amazing to me how chicks leap at any chance they get to mention their "boyfriend" or "fiancee"..now keep in mind..this had nothing to do with me..I was completely ignoring them and vice versa except for the occasional glance when I lift up to look at the TV or take a drink...I can't imagine the poor saps who are in relationships with these LA yentas...predicatble their talk turned to sex...what a surprise....but a surprise did come as two friends brought up their 29 yr old virgin girlfriend...

They claimed she had boyfriends in the past and was one of those "did everything else girls" but they couldnn't understand how she could hold out from going all the way...one of the ugly ones said she just turned 27 and had been having sex for 11 years and never went without it for more than a month...I wanted to know who are you fucking?....more importantly, who wwants to fuck you?...the other girls agreed...not with me cause it was all in my head...but with the sex thing at least once a month...btw they were drinking maragaritas...not cosmos....

Finally they exchanged numbers...I almost remember one of the numbers cause it had a ridiculous amount of eights in it..it was like 818-288-5088...something like that...crazy eights...it fit....

when the better looking one (the non-original friend...that's why I called her the third input..I know...funny)...got up to leave she put on her LA shades and said to me "hope you got all that recorded"....don't worry baby...I do.

It's good to be single...

I'm not going to say great....but...when u can go out in LA and walk into a bar w/Nicole Narin (go ahead google her), Ian Ziering (Steve from 90210) and tons of hot chicks.....and know the managers, bouncers, bartenders and waitstaff...it ain't a bad thing.....i was at the bar where i met the chick from JAX who wasmovin into my building...she's a hostess here...we talked it up..i left her my number although she said to take "mine" since she was going to change phones but then she just took mine and didn't give me hers..i dunno what that was all about...but im better off not havin her number she lives down and across the hall...she's like 21 and enough said...i got a pot pie cookin in the mic...im all good...

The Waitress

So I'm eating in this place called Toast made famous ...outside of LA anyway...because of a cameo in Entourage...I was eating alone and had a typical LA hot waitress...but she was so unbelievably friendly and nice it was difficult not to think of her otherwise...I attempted to compliment her...I say attempted cause I was sort of caught between hitting on her and just being nice myself...while I wanted to hit on her I didn't want it to seem obvious...obviously...it made me think how many guys actually try to get the number....it would be great to witness one of those transactions going down just once....and see it through successfully..I don't just mean getting the number but actually going out with her on a date.....the amount of time it takes to get the digits is also an important factor....I'm sure if I went in there like once a week for a month and saw her a few times it would be a lot easier to approach...my friend Pat would call that "soaking"...he would also call it "spinning your wheels"...but what I want is to be able to pull that move off in the first meeting in under an hour.....sure it can be done....but is it pure charm or good looks that will ultimately be the reason for hitting that homerun.....Toast is a pretty casual place even though it's trendy...food wise I recommend everything...super fresh, tasty..good size portions....so anyway...she had this infectious smile that didn't appear to be an act like you see so often...so I commented to her that she looks like she's having a great day...she smiled back and said it's probably cause she had such a great workout before she came into work...and once she got to work things just got better....it continued to get better for me too everyone time she walked away from my table and I got another look at her booty....but the point being...I guess I could have introduced myself and moved the conversation forward...but it seemed a little forced...of course I wondered what she thought of me...but then again unless she was immediately attracted to me she probably didn't give me much of any thought at all...Im just saying it would be nice to send a recon team back in after I had left and set her up with a lil Q&A...hey, that might not be a bad idea for a show.....I digress....she said she hopes to see me back (waitress speak of course)...and I said Oh, I'll be back...not like Arnold....but well...you know...and I will...