Take Care

There are many ways to close a letter, email or text....but "take care" has got to be one of the lamest and themost disheartening. I can never envision a scenario in which I'd use it unless of course I was trying to just completely blow the person off....as in....take care...I hope nothing bad happens to you in the future but I also hope never to see you again. Because it has "care" in it I guess people assume they're being nice...but in reality "take care" is more polite than nice. And as if you couldn't guess, the reason I bring this up is because I just got a "take care" text from a girl I'd been trying to get with. It's the second take care I've ever received. The first was also from a chick.

In brief, here's the recap. She's a waitress. I asked for her number. She gave it to me. We talked. We flirted. We had a drink. This went off and on for several months during which she was still in the middle of a 7.5 year on and off relationship...apparently still on. I had no interest in pursuing her while he was still in the picture. She wanted to be friends. Within the last week she tells me she's now broken up..it's been 3.5 weeks and says she'll call me.

Timing has never been my good fortune. In college a girl I wanted to date had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and was not ready...she asked me to wait....by the time she came to me wanting to be together...I couldn't do it. I didn't want to be that guy that said "How high?" when she said, "Jump." Although I believed at the time it was the right move...not a day goes by today without me thinking it was just stupid on my part....well maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration....not the stupid part...it was stupid as hell...but the everyday thing....more like popping in and out of my mind from time to time....especially when I hear the song, "Alison Road" by the Gin Blossoms..thanks for the memories guys....Years later, I ran into another girl I knew from college who had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship 6 months ago...and claimed to have not been with anyone since it ended....we didn't get together that night but I got in touch with her and about a couple of months later I spent the weekend with her.....and let's just say things didn't turn out so well. I wonder how much of it was false expectations vs lingering effects from the old flame.... and ironically...another Gin Blossoms song would forever be entrenched in the corners of my brain...this time it was "Hey Jealousy"....sad...I know...even though I still know nothing....

Anyway...back to the waitress...from what I could tell...she didn't seem to outwardly distressed over the end of her relationship although clearly it's having an effect....so she wanted to be friends while she was still in the relationship, but now that's she's out if it, where does that leave me? I'll tell you where it leaves me....no man's land. She's got my number. When she's ready to use it she will.

But then I got this friend who insists I just pick up the phone and call her. Men pursue. That's what we do. That's what he says anyway....more irony....women are usually the ones pursuing him...rather than the other way around. I guess he figures the rule applies to others...not himself....at least it applies to me...there aren't too many women chasing me these days...

4 days after I received her break-up news I sent the following text.

"So....."

I really did not want to send anything...and if I was going to do something I should have called...but...I decided to keep it simple, vague...but implied obvious....you know...I have no clue.

She replied immediately with this:

"I thought about calling you but i feel i need to be left alone. No hard feelings. Take care."

Simple yet strange too... My guy says it feels like a complete f off, if not for the first part which I figure she was trying to be nice...like to make me feel good....but that she's really not that interested.

Upon further review....as soon as I repeated the reply to another friend he likened chick's words to that of a Sherlock Holmes mystery...lots of clues but never a direct response that helps solve the crime....everything is open to interpretation. Another friend believes she's just not ready to jump back on the horse and it has nothing to do w me. If she had said I need to be left alone "for now"...or "gimme some time" well that would left the door open....but she didn't...she closed it in my face....softly....now maybe she doesn't expect me to hang around and wait for her to be ready.....but again...she could have said that and let me decide...but the double decker supreme combination of "No hard feelings" and "Take Care" is a 1-2 punch of Later. As in Never.

I didn't feel like going out getting dunked on like that so.....and my friend agreed...so I...we...sent the following text back:

"Ok...ill let u be..but don't let 1 white guy spoil it for the rest of us besides im not white im jewish u can can still call me anytime take care."

I should have mentioned she's black, not that it matters for this story...well I guess it did matter in order to get my attempt at humor . I'm white. The ex is also white.

Now...an acceptable response..at least a positive one would have been "LOL...thanks for understanding"...but I guess she didn't find too laugh out loud funny...and all I got was "Thanks for understanding."

And with that, after nearly 6 months of an off and on connection with me...the on part being when I would see her at work....there's only one move left for me....I deleted her number from my phone...for the second time.....shortly after we had first met I deleted her number since it wasn't going anywhere......I later put it back in because after not having seen her in awhile she suddenly seemed a little more interested in being friends........I guess if she would ever contact me again...I'd probably consider getting together with her.....I can't make the same mistake twice...can I?