I just called to say.....

....I love you.......not what you might think you'd hear from me....but since I saw Stevie Wonder in concert last night....and he played that song.....well...it put me in a more loving mood than usual.

First lemme say about Stevie....the man can jam...and sing...I know I'm stating the obvious...but it was the first time I saw him live and he's the kinda' performer that can burn straight through your heart and into your soul....

When I'm at a show like this and not with a girl I like to look around and take note of couples enjoying the show together....like the connection they're having...how the music moves them...how they look at each other...I notice...and I think...

I think of ex's...I think of love lost or never had.....but having that special connection with someone is what we all want...it's part of what makes us human....and while a lot of guys, and I guess, to similar degrees, girls, will too....at times...when they're not with someone or when things are going bad with someone close they try to justify to themselves, "Oh, I don't need him (her)..I'll be fine by myself...I'm a strong person. I don't need anyone." I used to like to say a woman doesn't make the man...a man makes the man...well... true....to some extent.....you've got to learn to be a man first on your own and how to be happy without a woman....if you can't depend on yourself to be happy....then you're never going to be....and I know I'm far from happy right now....I'm not satisfied where I'm at professionally....nor as a person....

People like to tell me...especially my parents...."What you really need is a good woman...."....as if that's going to be the cure all...and dramatically change things for me....

I asked a lot of friends of mine who are married or in long-term relationships how they felt in terms of how affected they are by their women....and not surprisingly, they have a difficult time expressing themselves....in part, it's a machismo thing where they don't want to admit they might be any less of a man without their partner...or worse yet....give their partner any credit, for their....for lack of a more sophisticated word.....betterness.....

I can't ever see any of them articulating what Tom Hanks said about his wife (Rita Wilson) on Oprah...(OK..I know I just lost like 100% of the straight men here....and I guess I shouldn't have "admitted" I was watching Oprah...let alone quoting from it...but I'm not quoting Oprah...I'm quoting the great Tom Hanks....and what man can't get on board with him?....what real man anyway...so I digress)....Tom said, "Before I met my wife I was maybe 65-68% man....she's made up the difference to get me to 100"....and of course Oprah and Julia Roberts...who was there with Tom promoting their movie, "Charlie Wilson's War"...along with the entire female audience collectively went "Awwwwww...."...now believe me...I appreciate what a fine actor Mr. Hanks is and certainly am aware of the fact he could be "acting" and "working" the audience...but if you heard it as I did...rather then just reading it on the page as you are now...you would have heard the sincerity in his voice and seen the love in his eyes.....it was as genuine as you can get...

Back to my friends....maybe they don't know how to express love...maybe they just don't want to share it with me...or maybe they're really not that much in love...whatever the case may be....some of them did offer, "Well, she's good to me...I know how much she loves me..." or they got married because "it was the right thing to do".......for me...that's not enough....there needs to be more.....that kind of love feels incomplete....I'm going to need a Big...ger love.............(yes...that was a Tom Hanks reference that probably flew right past some of you...sorry...).....anyway, when I see my Dad...I know how much my Mom means to him and how much he loves her....because I can see the impact she has on him.......and I realize.....it's not so much that a woman is good to you....and that's what makes the difference.....just being "good to you" is not nearly enough....what matters is that she's "good for you...."

And if you....I....can find....THAT....then maybe....we'll be able to not only rekindle Tom's words...but Stevie's too....and tell someone.....

"I just called....to say......I love you."