Dating for Sex v Dating for Relationship

"Try to have sex with as many women as you can."
- Any random guy

Most guys will try and tell you that all they care about is getting laid...that relationships mean virtually nothing...it's all about the sex....when I told a friend of mine about how I had been out with three different women in a very short amount of time his immediate reaction was "Good for you. Sleep with as many as you can."

When girls say "We want to have sex just as much as guys"...that's not accurate...they think they want to have as much sex as we do but the reality is that if they did they would be having as much as sex as they can...which would be about.....a lot....and whatever you think is a lot....triple it....and no woman short of a select few who get paid in the valley on a regular basis to have sex are actually having as much sex as they could if they were a guy.

While guys ideally want to have as much sex as we can with as many different women as we can...there are some girls that make us think otherwise....and those are the ones we want to date....and perhaps one day settle down with...there's a major difference between dating for sex and dating for a relationship....

A lot of guys will argue there's no difference between the two...or should I say....the guy shouldn't act any different in his pursuit of the two....and just because a guy wants a possible relationship with a woman doesn't mean he's going to be opposed to just having sex with her if that's all the girl wants...sometimes we think a girl prefers the relationship routine but really all she wants is some fun and sex....unfortunately, unless she communicates that...there's really no way of knowing...and that's why most guys end up thinking about only having sex with her....it makes it less complicated....you can always go for the relationship thing if the sex works out and she's interested in more.....but if you go the other way, you might scare a beautiful baby away by trying to go for a bigger bite than she's willing to serve at that moment....

"It's easier to beg for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission."
- A wiser man than me

A wiser man than me who was trying to point out to me....that the worst you can do when you cross a line.....overstep....what line?.....where's the line?....how thick or thin is it?.....who the hell knows?....certainly not men.....we often risk going over a line we have no idea of its whereabouts...we just know we're in jeopardy of crossing it....at that point....it's easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission to cross "that" line......smooth it over....but if you have to ask for permission you'll find yourself walking on eggshells or worse....stuck in a minefield you may never get out of....Take control...keep your foot on the accelerator...and whatever you do...do not...I repeat...do not put the "Pussy on the Pedestal."

"Oh...you put the pussy on a pedestal.."
- A wiser man than me

A different wise man...but still wiser than me who reacted with disappointment in hearing I may have shown...well...there's no other way to explain it than to say...too much respect toward the woman...that's putting the pussy on a pedestal....not that we should disrespect her...but often a mistake is made where we think so highly of the woman we are with we put her up on an impossible pedestal that we are then unable to reach....she doesn't do it....we do it....all of this putting the pussy on the pedestal prevents us from doing one thing....the one thing that matters most....the only thing that matters......and that thing is.......closing.

I'm reminded of an expression from the great film, Glengarry Glenn Ross...."A-B-C. Always Be Closing"....it doesn't matter if you're talking real estate deals or women....always be closing...... ...digits...date...sex.....it's a constant sales pitch...and you always have to be working her to sign on the dotted line....you can be aggressive...passive...passive aggressive...whatever the methods....the goal remains the same.....close.....this is such a man concept too...I'm sure women reading this are probably like "You've got to be kidding me?....Men actually think like this?" yes...we are dogs...hunters....we see a wounded fish...aka blood in the water....we go for the kill.....Always Be Closing....and the reason we have to always keep this in our minds is because it's very easy to lose sight of the endzone.....you distract us....women are very distracting....other than sports....it's the only the thing that can grab our attention so easily.....we think to ourselves...maybe I shouldn't do that...WRONG ANSWER......I don't want to upset her....WRONG ANSWER.......or she'll let me know when she's ready....EHHH. WRONG ANSWER...A. B. C. Always Be Closing....

Brad Lidge closes for the Phillies.....Alec Baldwin closes for Glengarry Glen Ross.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtJroJ-El8k

The girl I flew up to see in NY is still in my head...and certainly I did not do a good job of "closing"....you might say...I blew the save in the ninth....one random female bartender who I ran part of the story by suggested my very lack of closing may have been a major turn off....she went onto explain how my flying up just for an afternoon was so incredibly aggressive that I should have equaled that aggression on the date....of course I was guarding against doing that precise thing because I didn't want to make it seem like I was entitled to it since I flew up.....perhaps a little pussy pedestal thing happening.....another friend pointed out that maybe she just wanted to have sex with me...and that was it....as flattering as that may appear to me...it never even entered my mind...but given the outcome...or lack thereof....anything is possible.....

So where does all of this thinking lead a guy to?.....I'll tell you where it leads us...it leads us down the path discussed at the top of this entry...and that's....we're in it just for the sex.... Something About Mary tried to teach us not to think about having sex...because that would only get us into trouble and we'd be more focused if we weren't thinking about sex....EHHHH WRONG ANSWER...LISTEN TO...HEAR ALEC BALDWIN.........so with this NY girl I went with the not interested in sex approach....and where did it get me?....I know where it hasn't gotten me yet...and that's a second date.....

The lesson here is that you can't win if you actually hope for a relationship out of dating.....if that happens...then so be it....but really...all dating should be about is trying to have sex....not trying to date...girls would like to have you believe that they want to date but actually they're every bit as much about the sex as guys...they just don't know how to show it or tell you that.....they're too worried about how they might be perceived if they just want sex....then again...maybe I'm just an idiot...or at least a guy who still knows nothing....