I got my answer....

....I think....I finally heard back from "The Love of My Life?".....

After the weekend went by from my heartfelt voicemail with still no reply.....I texted to find out how her doctor's appt on her knee went.....to this text, she replied right away with some excitement that I checked in....by excitement I mean, she used a couple explanation points....she needs rehab for like 6 weeks so I told her how terrible that sounded and was sorry to hear it and did that mean I would have to wait another 6 weeks to see her?....maybe she didn't know how to respond and didn't want to just blow me off, but either way, I got no response......obviously, I was not feeling good about how she felt about me....

I sat on it for a couple of weeks...I thought about doing nothing...but I pushed for a more direct answer.....I was still thinking about her too much and needed to just move on....so I texted again...

hey how r u? I feel like I must be crazy thinkin we both had hit it off...r u reluctant 2 talk cause of the distance????...tell me what ur thinkin..talk to me:)

I wanted to at least get her to acknowledge something...anything.....about our time together....it seemed only fair....and just....of course, I know there's nothing just when it comes to matters of the heart....

She responded with this:

Hey! I'm actually really sick right now and have been overworking myself the past 2 weeks hardcore. The distance is certainly an issue on some level but more than anything I've just been busy.

Fairly benign wouldn't you say?...."Hey!" is she happy to hear from me? or does the exclamation point really mean nothing?!...."on some level"...what the hell does that mean?....what's on the other levels?....it sure appears the level of her like of me isn't enough to warrant any sort of long distance relationship...but then again....she did say "more than anything I'vejust been busy."...could it be that simple?......I think that's what so many of my friends like to refer to as "positive thinking"on my part.......maybe she thought I wanted to develop something serious and that's scaring her off......she doesn't know me well enough to make that assessment...I recognize how I've approached her to this point would suggest that....but I'm not that kinda' guy...I had to convey that somehow to her...and the funny thing is about the whole long distance thing is that if we weren't long distance there's no way I'd be acting like this...or even thinking like this....and while the distance is irrelevent to me in terms of a potential relationship.......it's, at the same time, the very issue that makes this relevant......getting serious with someone....especially after just one date...is the furthest thing from my mind...the simple fact is that I like her. Period. OK. I really like her. But what's wrong with that?...that's it....and if I like someone I'm going to do whatever I can to just Carpe Diem and live in the moment...I may be old in single dating years but I'm young in terms of thinking about the future.....what happens next or down the road...I'm still at a point in my life where I could care less right now...

I had to reply...again.....her answer was far from complete and left me even more unsatisfied then before I sent this last text....so...this is what I said...it took like 4 texts to send it all...those damn 160 character limits:

Sorry 2 hear ur not doin well i understand about the distance but its not like that wasn't always there and maybe cause of my age or what i've said makes...u think im looking 4 something more than ur willing 2 give but honestly i thought u were pretty amazing the nt we met and that's why i stuck it out tryin 2 see u again..all i want rt now is 2 get 2 know u better and yes see u again but if ur not feelin it then all the flirting and romance i try isn't goin 2 make...the dist btween us any shorter...whtever ur comforable w ill be cool with...uve already put a smile on my face maybe one day i can put one in ur heart...feel better.

Yes. I dropped some more matzo balls. But all I really wanted was her to open up a little bit to me....show some emotion back...anything...good...or bad....tell me straight out if that I was in town you'd totally want to go out again....or...tell me you're just not into me.....As much as girls preach to us about being open and honest.....it sure doesn't seem they're willing to be that way with us.....so far...she's really giving me nothing....she could have told me she's flattered by all my affection...I mean..how could she notbe?.....and maybe it's just not a good time for her...or....she's just not that interested...or the distance is too much to overcome right now.... something....anything...but I keep getting nothing from her.....

She replied fairly soon with:

Thank you. We'll have to play the meeting again by ear. I have a few busy weeks ahead of me and then I'm not even sure where I'll be heading come January. Have a good night, talk to you later.

Even more benign. Ouch. And the TTUL....double ouch. At least the first text I got after we saw eo in NYC was TTUSoon. It's hard for me to believe this is the same person I went out with....the one who seemed to have so much heart and soul. What can I say except, "Oh well." I kinda' feel like Jim Carey in Dumb & Dumber when Lauren Holly tells him he's got like one in a million chance of getting together with her and he says "So, you're saying I have chance."....there's always a chance I'll hear from her...but I'm certainly not counting on it....and not going to be contacting her anytime soon...or probably ever again....while the 1 in a million line got lots of laughs in the film.....as far as odds go....don't you think 1 in a million is about right when you're talking about a love that you could end up callingl.......the love of your life...???????....

On a side note....As I finish this entry up...my iTunes library I'm listening to while I type just kicked into Springsteen's "I'll Work for Your Love".....now that's a bit of irony.......sorry Bruce....I tried.....looks like it's not going to work out.