He said, "Oh no...we're going in here...after all, the love of your life could be in there and I don't want to prevent you from meeting her."
With that bit of Nostradamus like declaration we went inside....where the story of the 21-year old mentioned in the Aug 28,2008 blog begins....this is the follow-up...yes...there's follow-up....
In that previous blog I said she ended up calling me a few days later...well..we never went out cause I had left town and she was moving to NYC...after several failed attempts to get together both in town and out of town...I was determined to try and see her...I felt something special about her....and I'd be lying if my friend's comments didn't at least raise my curiosity level a 'lil extra...and she was the one who called me...so clearly she had some interest....at least I had that going for me....
For 2 months we traded missed phone calls...texts...voice messages...quite honestly I couldn't believe she was hanging in there with me...if I didn't get a prompt reply from her I would think I was done...only to have her send me something back keeping open the possibility of seeing each other....Finally...the day before I was set to fly from Florida back to LA...we set up an afternoon together where I would fly up to NYC..spend a few hours with her before flying back to LA from NYC....it felt crazy for me to actually do that...and it sounds even crazier to type it...but with crazy also comes a kind of unique excitement....I felt it was a good crazy and she must have felt the same...I knew my window of opportunity might be closing with her...after already one scheduled trip to see her had been canceled by me...and she said "hopefully it will be sooner rather than later" that we can see each other...you never want to give a girl a reason to pause or re-think...time to think for a girl is never good for the boy...that's why we want to get that condom out of that wrapper and on as fast as possible because in that moment of paused intimacy she could have a change of heart....which makes me think of the scene from the film "Booty Call" when Jamie Foxx and Tommy Davidson are sent out to get protection....they both knew they were at major risk once they walked out that door...that's what made it so funny and why they were so frantic while they were out away from their girls....classic...but anyway...on to NYC...
Making the plans as we did kind of presented a different kind of pressure to a first date...on the one hand there was no possibility of any hooking up with me flying out that night..I guess I could have stayed over and changed my plans if something like that presented itself....but my expectations were certainly nowhere in that range...that's why I was cool with the brief time we'd have together...I wanted it to be chill and comfortable and more of a get to you know type thing which is really what it should have been....while it was a lot to spend for just a relatively simple first date...with the extra flying and all...the money meant nothing....like I said...I had a good feeling about this girl....and I had to find out if my instincts were right....but while the pressure of any intimacy was off....the mere fact I was flying in special just to spend a few hours with her didn't exactly calm my nerves.....it almost felt like I was living out a scene in some romantic comedy.....how romantic should I even try to be? How would she react? If I only I knew what her expectations were....but once I got there...I suddenly felt very relaxed and knew I had done the right thing...
I thought about bringing my camera with me....just to be able to take some pictures of her...have some extra fun with the date...and maybe have some photos down the road of our first date just in case it led to something more...I'd also be lying if I didn't want to be able to show some friends pictures of this girl that I decided to fly 1,000 miles out of way to see.....who knows if I would ever see her again......I can recall another date I recently went on where I did bring a camera and the girl seemed to happy I did so at first it seemed like a harmless thing to do.....I know most girls have no idea we think like this...but everything we do is calculated based on one of two thoughts...will it score us points? or will it take away points?.....at the last second I decided against the camera....thinking it might seem like I was making too big a deal out of our first date...and that could be a kiss of death....making her think I cared too much about it.....although really looking back...how much bigger of a deal could I make it than flying 1,000 miles in just to spend a few hours together....????...well...she ended up bringing her camera....and maybe she was thinking the same thing.....or she just always carry hers in her purse.....although I will say upfront...she never offered to take a picture of me or asked for one of us.....not a good thing....but anyway...
While I waited for her in a hotel lobby bar...it was kind of funny when I asked her to meet at this hotel cause it sounded like such a movie cliche...but practically it worked for its central location and to check my bags with the bellman...as I waited for her I wondered if she'd even recognize me? And would I her?...we really only had like an hour of face time the night we met nearly three months prior....
The first glimpse of her came as she entered the lobby and I got to watch her walk across it to meet me....she looked beautiful....glowing....flipping her glistening short blonde hair while beaming with a bright smile and vibrant purple jacket...jeans and boots...sexy and slightly sassy...she walked with a confidence and style unparalleled for her age....she greeted me with a strong hug...I couldn't help but think of the Seinfeld episode when Jerry met this woman at the airport and brought George along to judge their greeting...to determine how much this woman actually liked Jerry....the double hands out hey would have been an awful way to begin....
So we sat down on one of the couches in the lobby and talked for a few minutes where I thought we'd end up having a drink first but she was so hungry we didn't stay long....sitting in the lobby....she looked different from her server ensemble she was wearing the night we met...a better different...I told her so...she had a more relaxed confidence...happier...makes sense...she wasn't working...anyway....it didn't take long for me to become enamored with her...she was charming, intelligent and very mature...this is not your average 21-yr old.
We walked a few blocks to a pizzeria....if you only have one meal in NY it's got to be pizza....and although she admitted to having pizza just the night before she was more than willing to seemingly make me happy...other girls might have tried to suggest something else to satisfy their desire...and if she really didn't want pizza I would have gone where she wanted to go...but she accepted so easily and willingly I thought that said something positively about her....she wanted to accommodate me...most women I meet are far more interested in themselves than anyone else....
I felt very much ease at with her from the start....over lunch we got to know each other....she seemed impressed that I'd remembered certain details from the night we met....she told me I had a good memory...I told her I remember things I want to...we talked about NY and how much I miss living there...she wanted me to list my top 5 things about the city...the only one that mattered was the one I did not mention....I guess I was a pussy...to me..the best thing about NY is the romance of the city...certainly anyone who spends any time at all in NY can see why it's easy to fall in love with the place...but there's also something special about falling in love in this city....amongst all the craziness and noise and traffic....there's a peacefulness and harmony that spirits your soul and ignites your heart...there's a reason those I love NY shirts are so popular...I wanted to tell her all of this...like I was reading to her from a great script...but I backed off...not wanting to be so bold so soon....I didn't have the courage to say it...even though I know she would have loved to hear that's how I thought...whether she wanted to share that romance with me is up in the air...I suddenly felt 17....not 37.....
I wonder if I was only thinking this because I had flown in for this date? If I was living here would I have felt any sense of urgency to be romantic? Throughout the date, I clearly seemed to guard against thinking that I should try and take it to that level more quickly than normal...so I ended up acting like it was just another first date...nothing out of the ordinary...maybe that was wrong on my part...and maybe she wanted to be totally swept off her feet...I just didn't want to be over the top...I figured flying in was enough at this point...if I was lucky enough to get a second date...that's when I'd have to bring the goods......I didn't want to do anything that would make her think "What is this guy doing?"....or "How could he feel this way already?"....even though I did....if she only knew what I was thinking...how many times I wanted to reach in and gently kiss her..or slowly pull her in close and and whisper in her ear how beautiful she was...
The age thing inevitably came up...we never talked about it when we met...as I hoped to avoid it because of the nearly 16 year difference.....I admitted I was going to lie about it right up until the point I found out her older sister and I went to the same high school...and then when she insisted it did not matter to her...and revealed she dated a guy who was 35 when she was 18....I asked how that worked out...and she claimed it was a good experience..they went for more than a year and are still friends now...I didn't ask why they broke up...only because I really didn't want to know the answer...it's probably because she moved...distance...a relationship killer....and my obvious number one problem....
As we wrapped up lunch, she asked what I wanted to do the rest of the day?...A friend of mine later said I should have suggested a jetski trip over to Ellis Island to check out her ancestors...ha...a "Hitch" reference...I thought about planning something elaborate but I decided to leave it up to her..as in..I really did want to do whatever she wanted...so I asked her, "Is there anything you've been wanting to do here that you haven't done yet?"....I think she liked the way I said it....she laughed and said there were a few things....she suggested the Met..the art museum by the park......even more evidence this was not some girl you just wanted to go out and bang....dare I say it?....it was the kind you could take home to momma....
We hopped a cab for the short ride over....another thing that adds to the romance of the city are cab rides...despite the perception of wild dangerous rides...snuggled close in the back seat can only fuel an intimate moment....unfortunately..nothing really developed in our two cab rides...of course being drunk helps....
She really appeared to enjoy walking around the museum.....I found myself watching her more than the art itself....we laughed and joked a lot...she asked if I went to museums on a regular basis?.....and I don't really...but every time I do go I think I should go more often....and the funny thing is....since I met her 3 months previous now that I'm thinking about it I had in fact been to 3 of the most major museums in the country....the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the Getty in LA (coincidentally on another date...at my suggestion) and now the Met with her...so I guess that would qualify as fairly regular....we kept walking around and even posed for some funny photos for an art student where we mimicked the pose of the painting behind us.....I tried to take some more photos of her with her camera but she felt a little self-conscious about it....although she was far from shy she still needed some warming up....we made our way into a room filled with sculptures and statues and found a bench to sit on in the middle of the room...in front of us was a giant statue that featured a goddess with an inscription that described her as a "divine intoxication"....appropriate as I was getting drunk on my girl....but how could I tell her that after a few hours?...it was ridiculous...I wish my friend hadn't said that thing about meeting the love of my life...could this girl really be it?...still sitting there on the bench ..now straddling it and facing her I wanted to lean and kiss her right then...soft and subtle....it would have been perfect..I could have told her how she was intoxicating me....reaching to gently touch her leg and kiss her.....
So I didn't....and I certainly have no clue if she was feeling anything like that...I avoided eye contact to deflect how I was feeling...I'd love to be able to talk to her about that moment down the road....I noticed sitting on that bench that many of the statues faced us from their backsides...as if the bench was on the wrong side of the room...but interestingly and out of nowhere she proclaimed "Some might say the backside is the best side"..... as if she was trying to tell me something about her.....and I wanted to tell how much I loved hers and couldn't wait to get my hands on it....instead I sort of nodded in agreement...I don't know what the hell was wrong with me....I do know what was wrong with me...there's an expression a friend of mine and I like to say and it's "Don't put the pussy on a pedestal"...well..I was putting the pussy on the pedestal.....instead of treating this girl like every other girl...any other girl...I was looking at her like one of those statues standing before us....but...the problem was that she was not like any other girl....and I knew it.....and it was driving me nuts....
We left the museum to walk through the park...as in Central....another amazing spot in the city....particularly at night...which it now was...upon entering the park the frantic sights and sounds of the city quickly disappear and you're transported into....serenity....call George Costanza...there's not a better spot to take a girl...again...it would have been nice to hold hands and all that...but we really didn't have much physical contact...there was no playful touching on her part....although she frequently adjusted her hair and reapplied lip gloss...maybe out lack of physical flirtation had more to do with her age and her conservativeness than it had to do with actually me...but I guess I could have been a little more aggressive in that department....but the last thing I wanted to do was make her at all uncomfortable....when she was ready..she'd let me know it....
I took her to this area where there was a small lake which she had never been to before and we grabbed a seat on another bench...the air had turned crisp and cool...a lamppost nearby provided the only light around us...again...she looked beautiful sitting there looking up at the sky..she took out her camera and took some photos of the tree branches in the darkness above us...this time she allowed me to take a few pictures of her as she leaned back and gazed into the night sky...she then wanted to show me some of her favorite videos from YouTube on her iPhone...one of them was this unbelievably touching story/video of a group of guys who years earlier had managed to infiltrate a lion pride and actually receive a hug from this wild lion....well there's text that appears over the video which she reads aloud to me...I love the sound of her voice...the first time she ever called me and left me a VM I almost downloaded it to my computer so I'd have it forever....if she had a recorded message on her voicemail...which she does not...I would call it just to listen to it...kind of like Michael J Fox did in "Doc Hollywood" when he called from LA to listen to the pre-recorded Grady weather report.....so we're watching this amazing video on her iPhone and the guys are now back in the wild jungle like 15 years later maybe looking for this same lion...they end up finding him and he runs over to them and gives them the most unbelievable loving hug...he literally jumps into their arms, wrapping its front paws around their shoulders...it was really quite emotional....here's the link...it's worth checking out.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWtRYaxmWM
so I guess I don't know if she showed me the video because she wanted to see my reaction...if she was just feeling good about our date and wanted to share that with me...or she was just bored out of her mind and was trying to kill time....obviously, I'd like to think it was the former.....you never know anything until a girl comes right and says...I really like you...It started to drizzle some and it was time to go anyway...I had a flight to catch and she had dinner plans with her sister and a friend...on our way out we passed the giant Hans Christian Anderson statue in the park...she actually didn't know who he was but it made for a good photo op...I told her to hop onto his lap and I'll take some photos...this time she jumped like a cute little school girl and I snapped some fun shots of her in various poses...I had give me a sexy...a goofy...it was good stuff....too bad she hasn't emailed them to me..I could have posted them....eventually....we left the park and caught a cab back to the hotel.
I thought we might have some time to have a drink back at the hotel...but we didn't...we hung out for a few minutes before I walked her to her train....unfortunately the train came almost immediately so we didn't have much final goodbye time..I got to tell her how I had a great time...and that it didn't even feel like a first date...I was really comfortable around her and she agreed and thanked me for coming to see her...I told her I want to see her again sooner rather than later...and she said definitely...like definitely I'd like that...she reached to hug me tight and that was it....
Now I had a 6 hour flight ahead of me to rehash the whole date in my head...ugggh...I thought I might get a text from her before I took off but I didn't... so I sent her one...again telling her how much I enjoyed getting to know her and that I can't believe I didn't ask for her number the night we met but I was glad she ended up calling. The whole reason I didn't ask for her number was because I was just doing one of those stupid tricks about not acting too interested...I figured if she was interested she'd call me.....the fact that it worked doesn't mean I'm never going to ask again for a girl's number....but I do think they will either off it up first or take your number from you......at any rate....she texted back...but it didn't come through until I landed in LA 6 hours later....she said she was glad too (that she ended up calling me)...and to have a good flight and talk to you soon....I still wasn't sure....I'm still not sure now...several days later.
I spent a good part of the next day talking to several of my close friends about the date...my head was spinning...we exchanged a couple of texts about her knee..which I forgot to mention she had asked if I knew of a good doctor cause she was having some problems and I got my brother who lives in NYC to give me one so I texted her the info that morning...I didn't hear from her until that night where she just said she ended up going w a different one cause of her insurance...but that was it...I desperately wanted to know what she was thinking about our time together...I had thoughts of flying back on the weekend to see her again...a girl friend of mine wanted to know how disappointed I'd be if we never saw each other again....and I was like..."Are you kidding?"...like I said..this wasn't a girl I just wanted to have sex with...I wasn't even thinking like that while I was with her....she was amazing...and I had to tell her....after hearing about the entire date and how I felt...my girl friend thought I should call her and tell her...I was concerned it might be a bit strong...after a first date....but she claimed since it was no ordinary date and that I live 3,000 miles away it was necessary to do it...if we lived in the same city and I wasn't flying into see her then yes...it would be improper to lay it on the line...but given the circumstances she saw nothing wrong with opening up....
So...I took a day to think about it...and on Friday this is the VM message I left ..I actually wanted to talk to her so I could get an immediate reaction..and not have to leave a message but I also didn't want to wait till I could get a hold of her to tell her...so if I got VM I would just roll with it the best I could....this is what I said....
"I just wanted to say Hi and see how you were doing with your knee and to let to you know again how much I enjoyed seeing you...honestly I haven't been able to stop thinking of you....I thought you were amazing...well maybe better words would be divinely intoxicating...I'm a passionate person and I just wanted to let you know how I felt...and I don't want to have to wait another 3 months to see you...I don't want to let the distance stop us from getting together again...give me a call and let me know what you're thinking.."
...So I put myself out there...dropped some big matzo balls...and now I have to wait...it's been a full 24 hours and I've yet to hear back from her...no text...no call....which like another friend pointed out has been the norm with her in our previous communications...sometimes she gets right back to me...other times it's days...but with such a powerful message you would think she would have reacted one way or another right away...I can only hope she's taking time to think about how she wants to respond....Tom Petty is right....the waiting is absolutely the hardest part...
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